Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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