Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
