sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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