okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
this is an emotional support booty call
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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