just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am one with the molecules
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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