I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
