i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
