Dude my mom stole all your condoms
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Randomize
