he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
