toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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