You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
