Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
