it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You took a bar mat shot.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
