she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
