how can u be prego again
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
