he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
areolas are like halos for boobs.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
