you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize