i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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