Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
