gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
