you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
