the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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