Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
