I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
