Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
