I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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