so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
