We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
