between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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