Banned from zoo.
Again?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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