I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
