idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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