All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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