i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
someone owes me an orgasm
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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