he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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