she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
