We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
