Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize