whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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