i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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