i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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