just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
