Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
im six kinds of drunk right now
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
