I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you mean i was at the winter classic?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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