She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
