Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
