Have some text gold?

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  • That's like saying "I'm ready to rupture your uterus."

    Submitted by Lusticles on May 23, 10 at 4:38pm
  • You forgot the "...in my mouth"

    Submitted by QuietGuy on May 23, 10 at 4:48pm
  • I'm sorry that you have an eleven inch penis, aside from the apparent social praise associated with huge members, that's GOT to suck in all practicality.

    Submitted by OxfordComma on May 23, 10 at 5:14pm
  • I believe you meant 1 inch penis. Common typo among douchebags.

    Submitted by GrammarPolice on May 23, 10 at 7:27pm
  • Does it hit the water when you poop?

    Submitted by itstotheleft on May 23, 10 at 5:20pm
  • Do you pass out when you get an erection?

    Submitted by LynnZee on May 23, 10 at 6:49pm
  • spit it out..it aint yours

    Submitted by kcdude on May 23, 10 at 4:42pm
  • Hahaha the comments are even funnier than the post

    Submitted by jb125 on May 23, 10 at 4:58pm
    • I agree, he must be talking about his strap on anyway!

      Submitted by IdahoGirl on May 25, 10 at 6:44pm
  • That's Like saying, "Im going to stick a sword in you"

    Submitted by KillerJames on May 23, 10 at 4:37pm
  • No girl I have ever talked to would think of that as a bright side

    Submitted by Gnarmageddon on May 23, 10 at 6:19pm
  • By any chance do you have hoofs or your Dad was part horse....

    Submitted by brittanyb on May 23, 10 at 6:43pm
  • That's cool that everything you accompished in life was given to you by genetics. What a champ.

    Submitted by kimono on May 23, 10 at 6:45pm
  • Seriously, who wants to screw a guy you have to guard your cervix from?

    Submitted by nurseypoo on May 23, 10 at 8:48pm
  • So basically u spend alot of ur time jacking off... Cuz no girl wants to die that way.

    Submitted by Trogdor101 on May 24, 10 at 12:25am
  • that's like saying "I'm about to destroy you with 'the force' ."

    Submitted by whiteliar on May 23, 10 at 4:46pm
  • Good for you, you cannot even get it all the way in a chick...and good luck with anal...lol

    Submitted by ryno24 on May 23, 10 at 8:10pm
  • Around

    Submitted by guam1990 on May 23, 10 at 5:15pm
  • Amazing. No comments from Alen001, 6one3, or stantheman! Must be scared by manmeat. Pindicks.

    Submitted by mordantmouth on May 23, 10 at 5:16pm
  • Ouch

    Submitted by smpl2plz on May 23, 10 at 5:36pm
  • That's about 3 inches too much buddy. 11 inches is just bragging rights to other guys I guess cause most of us women do NOT want you beating are cervix the whole time and cause miserable cramping after! Not fun for us!

    Submitted by littlemissy on May 23, 10 at 11:30pm
    • 3 inches too long? Man, I get my ass kicked by 7 inchers.

      Submitted by Nix on May 24, 10 at 5:20am
      • Kicked? You may want to double-check what appendage they're using...

        Submitted by DFree on May 24, 10 at 5:43am
      • Really? What size would you say is perfect?

        Submitted by Chiil on Jun 13, 10 at 11:38pm
  • How unfortunate.

    Submitted by Daft on May 23, 10 at 5:37pm
  • ...but is 1/2 inch thick. Fucktard.

    Submitted by Booberto on May 23, 10 at 7:59pm
  • Ouch.

    Submitted by rt22 on May 23, 10 at 8:41pm
  • Do u like were custom pants with a fuckin pocket to put your oversized penis in?

    Submitted by Rebel1317 on May 24, 10 at 10:05am
  • i hate to break the buzz here, but having a big dick isnt so great. im not 11 inches, not by far, but im preeetty damn set. and THAT alone has been enough to cause me issues. besides, if you are too big to fit in most girls then you are fucked, but only figuratively. i know i was. thaaat sucked...

    Submitted by Leto on May 24, 10 at 1:02am
    • Are there operations for that?

      Submitted by Dr_Strangeglove on May 24, 10 at 3:31am
      • yeah, there are, but its not tooo big of an issue. It just means you have to go for women who tend to have bigger hips, arent twiggy or wtv (not always a guarantee). basically "deer" and smaller "mare" women arent an option(kama sutra terms for women's vaginal sizes; and a preemptive 'fuck you' to people who are lame enough to make bestiality jokes)

        Submitted by Leto on May 24, 10 at 7:30pm
        • I tried to type "urban dictionary" into Google search to find what "wtv" means and I caught myself almost typing "urban vagina". By the way, it means "whatever".

          Submitted by DerKarismatisch on Jul 12, 12 at 6:48pm
  • " hanging out ur ass!"

    Submitted by thezuchster on May 23, 10 at 6:45pm
  • damn and ouch

    Submitted by Anonymous1024 on May 23, 10 at 10:13pm
  • fruit by the foot

    Submitted by jdilla on May 23, 10 at 10:18pm
  • Well, you can't churn butter with a toothpick . . .

    Submitted by blargmeansno on May 24, 10 at 4:08pm
  • Are you the guy who scared the bird?

    Submitted by IworkatUPS on May 26, 10 at 1:37am
  • Hah yea lil big there

    Submitted by dwate on May 28, 10 at 1:51am
  • So basically just the tip fits inside her? Sucks for you

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 24, 10 at 2:48am
  • Around, think about it.\n\n-steve stiffler American pie 2

    Submitted by actionjacksonak on May 23, 10 at 7:22pm
  • My boyfriend is the same size and it fucking hurts at first so there is no brightside...just really sore to the point where you can't walk.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 10 at 12:10am
  • hmm let me get at that?(; haha not.

    Submitted by lexi602 on May 24, 10 at 12:21am
  • I think I know who sent this text, if he is talking about it's flacid length

    Submitted by uberninjagod on Sep 7, 10 at 10:22pm
  • I need proof.

    Submitted by splendidsplenda on Sep 26, 10 at 10:53pm
  • Ow...

    Submitted by cbtango on May 25, 10 at 11:52pm
  • Hurry up and get it out of ur mouth

    Submitted by duvalboy on May 24, 10 at 9:19am
  • I would love it see that in person.

    Submitted by rileymae on Jan 14, 11 at 3:55am
  • By any chance, are you black?

    Submitted by kissmyaggies92 on Oct 30, 10 at 10:12pm
  • I'm jealous, but I won't hate. Congrats

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 23, 10 at 9:29pm
  • It'd be a shame if you got no play. Ironic. But a shame nonetheless.

    Submitted by justsomechick on May 23, 10 at 7:44pm
  • dude aaint gettin much... im not near that big but still big enough nd the number of chicks that have said no to me when they saw it is too many :/

    Submitted by nubby89 on May 24, 10 at 3:30pm
  • c'mon haters, it's not dude's fault he won out genetically. and honestly, as a girl who's been with a guy with an 11 inch dick, there's nothing wrong with it. nothing at all.

    Submitted by ph0kku on May 25, 10 at 10:33am
  • Solid win

    Submitted by paintballfuk on May 24, 10 at 11:26pm
  • Holy shit every1s comments here r fukn hilarious

    Submitted by CR4ZY on May 25, 10 at 12:21am
  • y'all need to come to the south its really not that uncommon. I have a 10" dick and never had any complaints. my wife loves it

    Submitted by taz316_2 on Feb 20, 11 at 6:27am
  • If I had a dollar for every time I fell for that one, I'd have a dollar

    Submitted by rinala on Aug 22, 10 at 7:58pm
  • I just shat my pants

    Submitted by CaptainStabbin on May 23, 10 at 4:46pm
  • Let's meet up. Haha :)

    Submitted by linniep26 on May 25, 10 at 1:40pm
  • I have a 10" dick. never had any complaints. wife loves it

    Submitted by taz316_2 on Feb 20, 11 at 6:29am
  • Thats pretty gross, like thats just too much !

    Submitted by eeyore_420 on May 24, 10 at 4:25am
  • I'd get surgery....that's just ridiculous. How do u wear shorts?!

    Submitted by cheezit567 on Jun 3, 10 at 2:19am
  • Oh great, you can fuck

    Submitted by kaisermarion on May 23, 10 at 5:27pm
  • Dido bro

    Submitted by picanteoak on Sep 16, 10 at 12:15am
  • I'll stick to 6 inches, it works great for me.

    Submitted by Chiil on Jun 13, 10 at 11:02pm
  • There's gotta b girls with 11 inch holes?

    Submitted by Rutherford on May 24, 10 at 2:02pm
    • Yeah, they're 6'3" and named Barry or Gord.

      Submitted by Chiil on Jun 13, 10 at 11:00pm
  • Yeah...riiiiight. And ouch

    Submitted by MissKitKa on May 24, 10 at 3:55pm
  • I don't see how that's a "bright side", unless practically stabbing a girl's clit is considered good.

    Submitted by aznasshole on May 23, 10 at 5:53pm
    • why the hell would you need a 11 inch dick to hit the outside of a vagina (unless you were getting head from a gnome and hit it as you came out the other end)?

      Submitted by yumworthy on May 23, 10 at 5:57pm
    • learn your damn anatomy. I feel bad for the girl who is unfortunate enough to agree to let you down there

      Submitted by ^_~ on May 23, 10 at 10:53pm
  • So do I :)

    Submitted by christheblack on May 23, 10 at 7:09pm