halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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