Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
