I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
