the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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