Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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