My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
