Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
