the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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