I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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