My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
