First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
