sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's blow job season.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
