so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Randomize
