Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
