I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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