dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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