Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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