No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
