I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
