The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
