Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
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That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
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there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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