haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
