he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
