apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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