I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so let's talk penis.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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