Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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