Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
