dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
