He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
