Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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