He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
